


First in My Heart

by houdini74



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Boys In Love, Happy Ending, M/M, eventually...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houdini74/pseuds/houdini74
Summary: When the General Store comes up for lease, Town Council holds a competition to find a new tenant. David submits his application, but he doesn’t count on what happens when he meets one of the other competitors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I actually used a proper plan and structure to write this and I'm kind of proud of how it turned out. Hopefully you will love it too!

If he closed his eyes, David could imagine what the store would look like. The light from the front windows would brighten the warm color palette inside and bring everything to life. He could envision the windows filled with plants or even cut flowers, as long as the sunlight wasn’t too strong.

The decor would need to match his vision for the store and the building’s architecture, something warm, yet worn, with a lived-in feel, but not threadbare. He’d use tables rather than shelves to fill the space, so that it felt open and airy when people came in the door. And the colors would be important, they needed to set the tone, he wanted something subtle, yet friendly. Slate and cream, perhaps? No, the slate would be too strong and the cream too common. Sand and stone. That was perfect. 

He pulled out his journal and began to sketch the ideas, quick strokes showing the interior of the store, annotated with his thoughts about suppliers and products and pricing.

He wanted to do it by himself. To try again, to start something new in this mess of a town, to create something unique and stylish that no one here had ever seen before, an oasis in the midst of the plaid shirts and rundown streets. Excited to share his idea, he tossed his journal onto the bed and headed to the motel office to talk to Stevie.

“I’m going to submit an application for the General Store.” 

Stevie was sitting at the computer in the motel office. He’d been inundating her with business ideas for the past month, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that she was focused on her sudoku game instead of paying attention to him.

“Uh huh.”

“I mean it.”

“Is the idea for the designer sweater boutique or the French patisserie? Because I already told you that I don’t think either of those will fly in this town.” Stevie continued to stare at the computer screen, chewing on her bottom lip as she worked through the game.

“Okay. Just because I have a vision to bring some culture to this town...” 

“Culture is one thing. A successful business is something else.” She finally looked away from the computer, giving him a pointed look. He wanted to be annoyed with her, but he knew she was right, creating a business that showed the world who he was and who he could be was important, but making sure he didn’t fail, that he didn’t give people an opportunity to pity him for starting something that could never work was just as important. 

Ever since Wendy had given him the money from the Blouse Barn, he’d known that he wanted to try to open a store, a beautiful store, with the perfect aesthetic, with products that reflected his brand and his view of the world. 

“I want to open a general store, but one that sells local products. Hand crafted products. Handmade things you can’t buy anywhere else.”

Stevie had a pensive look on her face as she considered. “You know, that’s actually a pretty good idea.”

“Best of all, the overhead would be very low since I wouldn’t have to buy things up front.” Business planning wasn’t his strength, but he knew that the less money he had to spend on inventory, the better. 

“You’ve actually thought about this.”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

He had thought about it. He thought about it every day. How it would look, where he could source his products, how much money it would take. For the first time since they’d been forced to move to this town, he was excited about doing something on his own. There were parts that he tried not to think about, like business plans or cash flow statements or how creating this store might mean that he was putting down roots, building something permanent in a place that he’d never wanted to stay. But underneath all of that was the excitement of starting something new.

He’d picked up an application form from Ronnie about a week ago. Now that he’d finally settled on an idea, he filled out the form, stumbling a little bit over the name and description of his business. He hated trying to distill his idea down to something that would fit onto paperwork and forms. He could see it so clearly, yet when it came to describe his idea in a succinct way, his mind went blank and words eluded him. Still, he’d done what he could to summarize his idea, hopefully it would be enough to secure the lease to the store.

Ronnie was the only one at Town Hall when he dropped his application off the next day. She was scrolling on her phone with her feet on her desk. She barely looked up when he showed her his application, gesturing to a pile of papers on the corner of the desk. “Just put it there with the others.” He looked at the pile uneasily, he hadn’t realized there would be so much competition for the lease. 

Their motel rooms were empty when he returned. Even though his application hadn’t been approved yet, he was already thinking of it as his store. He was refining some ideas for the layout of the interior when he heard his mom come into the other side of their motel rooms. 

“David!”

His mom appeared at the adjoining door between their rooms. She was wearing the hound’s tooth pantsuit that she wore when wanted to look official. 

“David. Council has received your application for the General Store and I have good news!”

“They’ve approved my application?” When he’d seen the stack of applications on Ronnie’s desk, he assumed that it would take them a little longer to select a successful applicant.

“No! We’re having a competition between the four different applicants to see which application everyone likes the best!”

“How is that good news?” He sat up, dislodging his journal, which fell onto the floor. He crossed his arms and glared at his mom.

“Oh David, you’ll get to present your idea to the entire town. A performance, just like the theatre!”

“Yeah, I’m really not interested in that option.” He turned away, picking up the journal and setting it on the bedside table. Of course his mom would love the chance to do a song and dance for something like this. For a brief moment, he wondered if it was worth it. Did he really want to go through this rigmarole just to lease a space in this town?

“Well, Council was deadlocked at one vote each, so I suggested a friendly competition to break the tie. There will be a tour of the General Store building on Tuesday to kick things off.”

He didn’t want to be part of a competition but he wanted the space, the perfect place to start his store. He closed his eyes and sighed. Just once he wished things could be simple.

On Tuesday at one o’clock, he arrived at the store for the official tour of the store. He’d received a letter from Council last week thanking him for his application and outlining the rules of this ridiculous competition. He already hated that he’d agreed to do this. If he hadn’t wanted the store, his store, so badly, he would have walked away from the whole thing.

When he arrived, the doors were still locked. A good-looking guy wearing a blue button-up shirt and Levi jeans was leaning in the doorway. He nodded at David.

“You here for the walk through?” 

David nodded. He was cute in a wholesome, suburban kind of way, but David wasn’t sure how well he wanted to get to know his competition. It seemed like getting to know the people he was competing against might be a bad idea. The other man held out a hand.

“I’m Patrick Brewer.”

“David Rose.” There was a moment of awkward silence that was broken by the arrival of Roland and Ronnie. On their heels came Ray and Wendy.

“Wendy, what are you doing here?”

“David! When I heard this space was available, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to revive the Blouse Barn. Under a different name, of course. I was thinking Blouse House or Shirt Hut or Tunic Den? What do you think?”

“Oh Wendy, I couldn’t say.”

“Well, David, maybe you’d be interested in coming back when I get the store up and running. Get the team back together?”

He couldn’t imagine anything worse than working for Wendy again. The idea that he’d have to find another job if he couldn’t make this work increased his determination to win this competition. 

“No, I don’t think so, but thanks.” For maybe the first time in his life he was grateful when Roland started talking. He looked over to see Patrick watching him. When he caught his eye, Patrick blushed and looked away. With a curious smile, he turned back to listen to what Roland was saying.

“There will be four rounds of presentations and voting. First, you’ll present your overall business concepts, then a detailed business plan, then you’ll participate in a pop-up shop event and finally you’ll make a sales pitch for why your idea should be selected. The entire town will vote in each round and the idea with the most votes from all four rounds will be the winner.”

“You’ll each have fifteen minutes to spend in the store to ask questions and to take photos and measurements. We’ve drawn lots to see who will go first.”

Ray’s name was drawn first. David leaned against the front of the store next to Patrick. 

“So, what’s your game plan?”

David stopped himself from rolling his eyes but only because Patrick was very cute. Probably straight, with that shirt and those jeans, but cute nonetheless. But was he making sports references? 

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You know, like a plan for how you’re going to tackle things…” At David’s blank look, Patrick grinned at him, humor sparking in his eyes. “At least they’ve covered all the bases and have given us a level playing field.”

David narrowed his eyes and glared at him as he saw the smirk on Patrick’s face. Patrick might be cute, but he was very bold, teasing someone he’d just met. David wanted to dislike him, instead he found himself smiling back at him, his eyes lingering for a moment on Patrick’s face.

“Okay, well, based on this conversation. I’m guessing your idea must be some kind of store that sells hockey bats and or baseball mittens or something.”

Patrick was outright laughing at him now. “No, I don’t think Schitt’s Creek is big enough to support a baseball mitten store. I want to open a farm store. One that sells vegetables and other edible products from local farms.”

David’s stomach clenched. It was a good idea. He wished that he’d included food products into his idea for his store. Maybe if he had, they wouldn’t have had to participate in this absurd exercise. 

“What about you?”

“Well, it’s a general store…” The door to the store opened and Ronnie pointed at him.

“Your turn.”

He shrugged at Patrick and headed inside. He wasn’t sure what this visit was supposed to accomplish, he’d seen the space before and he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted his store to look like. But he dutifully took some photos and asked Roland and Ronnie about the lease and the rules of the contest before heading back outside. 

It was Patrick’s turn next and David stood outside with Ray and Wendy. Ray was explaining his plan to relocate his existing businesses to the store and expand his closet organization business.

“...and I would offer all types of storage solutions. Kitchen storage and bathroom storage and bedroom storage and garden storage and…”

David tuned him out, thinking about Patrick, about the way he had smiled as he teased David about sports and how his face had lit up when he talked about his idea for his farm store. He was annoying, taunting David one minute and making him feel comfortable the next. He realized he was smiling again and he forced his face into a more neutral expression. There was nothing stylish about Patrick, but his look suited him. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair. He wondered if it would be curly if it was a bit longer. It looked like it might be, he thought about what it would feel like to have those curls wrap around his fingers. 

This was a bad idea. He needed to beat Patrick in this contest, so that he could open his store and prove himself to this town, to his family. Getting involved with one of the other competitors, even if he was cute, was a really bad idea. He remembered Patrick’s blush from before and wondered what it would take to get him to blush like that again. If he kissed him, really kissed him, the way he wanted to, would Patrick blush afterwards?

He leaned his head back against the window of the store. This was bad. To be forced into this absurd challenge was one thing, but to have to compete against someone he could easily develop a crush on was even worse. 

The walk throughs were finished and Ronnie called everyone over.

“Here’s how this is gonna work. You have a week to put together your best descriptions of your business ideas. Next Tuesday, you’ll present them at Town Hall to whoever decides to show up to watch. We’ll put your presentations online and everyone in town will have a week to vote. Four rounds, person with the most votes overall wins. Any questions?”

Ronnie glared at them and there were no questions.

“Good luck. See you in a week.”

Patrick turned to him and held out his hand. “It was nice to meet you, David. Good luck.”

“Yeah. Good luck.” A tiny spark of electricity made his fingers tingle as Patrick shook his hand, distracting him. He watched as Patrick walked down the street, the mid-range denim did make his ass look good...he had to stop thinking about this. He had a presentation to develop. He watched until Patrick got into his car at the end of the block, lifting his hand halfway to wave as he drove by.

Everyone in town was talking about the contest. Factions were forming, even before any of the ideas had been presented. Everywhere he went, people wanted to ask questions about his idea. Bob wanted to know if the store would carry face cream for Gwen and Twyla hoped he’d sell organic aftershave because her mom’s boyfriend couldn’t buy it in jail and he was allergic to commercial products. Talking to people all the time was exhausting. Was this what it would be like to run a store, to have to be nice to people all the time?

He’d seen Patrick once or twice. When they’d crossed paths at the cafe, Patrick’s face had lit up with a smile when he saw David, making his heart skip a beat. Each time he’d seen him, Patrick had been wearing blue and David was tuned to it now, every passerby in a blue shirt made him pause and take a second look. 

He’d stopped wearing his rings on his left hand. He didn’t want Patrick to think...well, he didn’t know what he wanted him to think. But if wearing the rings on his left hand might cause Patrick to believe something that wasn’t true, it was easier to simply wear the rings on his right hand.

The week went by faster than he would have thought possible. Before he knew it, he was sitting in one of the uncomfortable yellow chairs in the front row at Town Hall, watching Wendy talk about bringing Blouse House to Schitt’s Creek. Wendy’s talk about affordable women’s fashions and colorful floral prints made him cringe, plus she kept forgetting the name of her store, calling it Blouse Barn, Blouse House, Blouse Hut and, for some reason, Sweater Shack. The applause when she finished was tepid, although Jocelyn seemed quite excited.

Ray was up next. After taking two minutes to explain that he wanted to move Ray’s Real Estate, Travel and Photography into the store, he spent the rest of his time explaining the best way to fold clothes to maximize storage space. David glanced at Patrick, who was sitting next to him. As though he’d been waiting to catch his eye, Patrick shrugged and grinned. It felt like the two of them were working together instead of competing in a stupid contest. He smiled back, until he was startled out of his reverie by the applause for Ray. 

Patrick headed for the front of the room. He looked confident and David could tell he’d made presentations like this before. His nervousness about his own proposal increased. Patrick was explaining how his farm store would work. David could tell that the people in the room thought it was a good idea, the mood in the room had shifted, people were leaning forward as he spoke, paying attention. There was lots of clapping as Patrick wrapped up his presentation. Taking a deep breath, David headed to the front of the room.

“My idea is for a general store...that is also a very specific store.” He winced to himself, that wasn’t how he’d wanted to start. At the back of the room, he saw Stevie give him a thumb’s up as she mouthed ‘you’ve got this’ at him. He glanced at Patrick and was surprised to see him smile encouragingly at him. Taking another deep breath, he began again, this time letting his passion for his idea overtake his nerves. 

He talked about the handmade bath and beauty products that he wanted to sell and how his store would provide a retail outlet for local vendors, trying to articulate what his store would look like and how it would benefit the townspeople. As he shared the details, he could see Patrick watching him with a contemplative look on his face. 

He took his seat, the applause for his idea might have been as much as Patrick had gotten for his farm store. It was definitely more than either Ray or Wendy had received for their presentations. Maybe, just maybe, he could do this, maybe he could win this competition. He glanced over at Patrick and a tendril of regret crept into his mind. He wanted to win, but he didn’t want Patrick to lose. Giving his head a mental shake, he turned back to the stage where Roland was explaining the rules for voting to the crowd. 

He’d hoped to talk to Patrick after they finished, but they were both surrounded by people who had questions about their ideas. By the time he had finished his tenth explanation of how he planned to source his products, Patrick had gone. Feeling a bit sad that he’d missed his opportunity to talk to him again, he left Town Hall to walk to the motel. 

It was dark outside. Schitt’s Creek didn’t have many streetlights and he could see the stars. He tipped his head back to look for a moment when a soft voice came from his left.

“Hey.” Patrick stepped out of the shadows beside him. 

“Hi.” Deep inside himself, where he’d been holding on to the anticipation of talking to Patrick, something eased, releasing a trickle of warmth. He stepped closer to Patrick. Everyone else had gone, even though they were standing on the street, it felt surprisingly intimate.

“So, a very specific store, hmm?”

“Okay.” He couldn’t remember why he’d wanted to see Patrick. Somehow, over the past week, he’d forgotten how badly Patrick liked to tease him. 

“It’s a good idea.” 

David eyed him cautiously. It felt good to have Patrick, who seemed so confident and well-organized compliment him on his idea, but he didn’t know him well enough to be sure if he was sincere or not. 

“I mean it, I think it’s got real potential.” Patrick glanced over at him.

“Yeah, yours too.” It was awkward, talking about this when they were supposed to be competing with each other. He wanted to ask Patrick other things, like how he felt about Mariah Carey, and if he liked romantic comedies and if maybe Patrick was starting to like him as much as he liked Patrick. 

“I’m glad tonight is over, the business plans are much more in my wheelhouse.”

“I wish I could say the same.” 

The silence descended again, this time is was more relaxed, less awkward. The soft, comfortable feeling he’d had before returned and once again he felt like they were on the same team. Patrick was standing close enough to him that he could feel the heat of his body in the cool night. He wanted to step closer, to soak Patrick’s warmth into his skin, to let it fill all of the dark places inside himself that he was careful not to expose to the light.

“Um...I should go.” Patrick gestured in the opposite direction to the motel. 

He was right, as much as he wanted to, they couldn’t just stand here on the street. It was dark and he could feel like chill, even beneath his thick sweater.

“Me too. See you around?”

“I’d like that.” He watched Patrick fade into the darkness before he turned to walk back to the motel.

***

He’d known the business plan portion of this contest was going to be a struggle but wrapping his head around the intricacies of a plan was proving a lot harder than he’d thought. He remembered Patrick’s confidence and knew that he’d probably finished his plan already. He wished he had even a fraction of Patrick’s ability to talk about balance sheets and profit margins. But even if his plan could never be as good as Patrick’s he still needed to put something down on paper. He sighed in frustration as he stared at the blank page.

As he laid on his bed in the motel, his family came in and out of the room, offering suggestions. 

_“Be sure to use the right font.”_

_“Wow them with a big idea, son.”_

_“Is that something you’re still doing?”_

Desperate for some peace and quiet, he took his journal and fled to the cafe, hoping that there wouldn’t be many people around at two o’clock on a Thursday. Sitting in the booth, he stared at a blank page, hoped the ideas would come together. He knew what he wanted his store to look like and how it would operate but bringing everything together into a description of inventory and profit margins was eluding him. With a sigh, he pushed the notebook away and took a sip of his coffee.

He should just quit now before he embarrassed himself next week. If he couldn’t write a simple business plan, how could he ever actually run a business? He’d been stupid to think that this was something he could do, perhaps this contest had been a good thing, making sure he understood his deficincies before he’d gotten in so deep that he couldn’t get out again. It wasn’t like there was anyone to bail him out this time if things didn’t go well.

“Can I join you?”

Patrick was standing beside the table, a smile on his face. He smiled back and gestured to the empty side of the booth.

“Having trouble with your business plan?”

“Mmm.” He didn’t want to admit to Patrick how difficult he was finding this part of the competition. 

“Do you want some help?”

“Why would you do that? Helping your competition doesn’t seem like a very smart business move.”

Patrick looked uncomfortable. “I like writing business plans. And, you’ve got a good idea. Even if we can’t both win this contest, that doesn’t mean both businesses can’t succeed.”

“That’s very generous.”

“What have you got so far?”

David gestured to the blank page in his journal. “I don’t really know where to start.” The confession made him feel uneasy, but at the same time, it was a relief to share his anxieties with someone. 

“Okay, so take me through it.” He started to explain and Patrick asked him questions about his pricing and his suppliers and his costs. Before he knew it, he had four pages of notes. How had Patrick made it seem so easy? He might actually be able to write a business plan that wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of the entire town.

“...so you just need to identify your target market, and the rest will flow from there.”

“Thank you, Patrick.”

Patrick shrugged and looked a bit embarrassed. “Just take those notes and put them into a spreadsheet and you’ll be good to go.”

David made a face at the thought of creating a spreadsheet. “Maybe you could put them into a spreadsheet for me?”

“Do you want me to run your business for you, too?” Patrick was joking, but suddenly David did want that, very, very much. He could imagine his store, with the same products, the same space, the same feel but with Patrick there with him. He fit into David’s vision for the store like he’d had always been meant to be there. David swallowed, toying with the corner of his journal.

“Maybe after this is over…” He wanted to find a way to see Patrick every day, to work with him, or even more than that. He couldn’t say the words and instead he settled on the first thing that came to mind, “...you could teach me how to use a spreadsheet?”

“I’m not sure I have that much time. That sounds like it could be a lifelong project.”

I would take that much time, David thought, before he panicked and shoved that idea to the back of his mind. “Not up for a challenge, then?”

“Maybe we should get through this other challenge first?” Patrick looked amused as he met David’s eyes, his gaze lingering a little too long. 

Patrick reached out to touch David’s hand. His fingers barely skimmed David’s skin, but it felt as though he’d been burned. 

“I should go.” 

He watched Patrick leave, absently rubbing the back of his hand where Patrick had touched him before turning back to his journal to organize his notes into something more coherent.


	2. Chapter 2

The votes for the first round would be revealed right before they presented their business plans. The crowd at Town Hall was bigger than last week making him even more nervous. He looked for Patrick and spotted at the front of the room, sitting in the same chair as last week. He sat in the chair beside him and gave him a half-grimace. 

“Nervous?”

“Mmm hmm. I can’t wait for this to be over.” This competition was making his store seem both closer and further away from becoming a reality. He took a deep breath as they waited for Roland to announce the results. He could tell that Patrick was as tense as he was, and when he glanced over at him Patrick was staring straight ahead, his hands clenched, worrying at each other. Finally, after an eternity of meaningless chatter from Roland, he began to announce the results.

“In fourth place, Ray Butani with 453 votes.”

“In third place, Wendy Kurtz with 486 votes.”

He let out a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding. He and Patrick were in first and second place. Suddenly, he didn’t care who had won this round, he was just glad they were both on top. He looked over to Patrick and smiled, happy to see him smile back.

“In second place, Patrick Brewer with 672 votes.”

“And in first place, David Rose with 689 votes.”

He’d done it. He’d come in first place, by just seventeen votes. There were nearly seven hundred people in this town who thought his idea for the store was a good idea. He could tell Patrick was looking at him and he glanced over at him. He was smiling. 

“Congratulations.” The whisper was nearly lost beneath the applause from the crowd.

Before he had time to process what had happened, Roland was calling him to the front of the room. They were presenting in reverse order tonight, so he had to go first. His nervousness about presenting his business plan returned.

As he stood at the front of the room, he tried to remember everything he and Patrick had talked about in the cafe. It had seemed so simple when they talked, as though Patrick was able to translate his creative ideas into balance sheets and cash ratios. His mind went blank. He stammered his way through the rest of his proposal, as he neared the end of his presentation, he glanced at Patrick and saw him wince in sympathy. He fumbled his way to the end and was greeted by lacklustre applause. 

He wanted to run from the room, but instead he had to sit and listen to the other presentations. He knew he should have withdrawn from the competition when he had the chance. He might have a good idea for a business, but without the ability to execute it, he might as well not bother. He hugged his arms to his chest and stared at the floor, letting the sound of Patrick’s voice wash over him.

The cadence of Patrick’s voice was very soothing. Just listening to him talk about financial projections was taking some of the edge off of David’s failure. On the screen, Patrick switched to a second spreadsheet. It was too bad that they were stuck in this stupid competition together, if he’d been able to find a business partner like Patrick, he might have had a chance to make his store a success. At the front of the room, Patrick finished his presentation and David joined the rest of the room in applauding his proposal. 

Patrick took his seat as Ray replaced him at the front of the room. He bumped his shoulder against David’s and leaned close so he could whisper. 

“It’s going to be fine.”

He looked at Patrick skeptically, expecting to see pity on his face, but it looked as though Patrick was sincere. 

“I have an idea, wait for me after?”

He looked at Patrick for a moment before he nodded, curious about what he might propose. 

Ray was wrapping up his presentation with a series of slides that showed the different types of storage containers he planned to sell along with their wholesale and retail prices. David wasn’t sure how this was supposed to illustrate Ray’s business model, but he’d missed most of his presentation, so perhaps it all made sense.

As Ray turned the floor over to Wendy, his thoughts turned back to Patrick. He liked him. Really, really liked him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent this much time thinking about someone who he wasn’t already sleeping with. He didn’t know if Patrick felt the same way, or if Patrick was even interested in men, but he did seem interested in at least spending time with David, so he was willing to take what he could get. 

As Wendy finished her presentation with the pronouncement that her business would be ‘Blouse Barn But Better!’ he headed for the exit. He was in no mood to chat with the townspeople about his failed presentation. Either they’d vote for him or they wouldn’t, it seemed unlikely he’d be able to change their minds after his train wreck of a presentation. 

Outside, dusk was turning to night. He sat on the bench beside the front steps, tucking his hands under his legs and waited for Patrick to come out. A stream of people left the Town Hall, passing in front of him without noticing he was there. He was just as happy not to talk to anyone, if he hadn’t wanted to talk to Patrick, he would have headed back to the motel to drown his sorrows in a pint of ice cream.

Finally, after it seemed like everyone else had gone, Patrick appeared in the doorway. He stopped at the top of the stairs. For a moment, David watched him, taking in the confident set of his shoulders and how the light above the door brought out the red highlights in his hair. 

“Hey.” 

Patrick looked towards him, a smile breaking across his face. He came down the steps and sat beside him on the bench.

“Hi.”

“So that was pretty terrible. My presentation, I mean.” He gave an awkward, self-deprecating laugh and gestured vaguely at the Town Hall. Normally, he didn’t like to draw attention to his failures, but it wasn’t as though Patrick hadn’t just watched him fumble his way through his presentation less than an hour before. He wasn’t sure if he was looking for reassurance or solidarity or comfort. Patrick’s eyes met his and he could see the understanding he’d been looking for.

“Uh...yeah...okay, it wasn’t great. Here’s the thing, David. I want to win this contest. And if I can’t win, I want you to win. So what do you think about working together?”

“Why would you want to do that? It seems obvious now that you’re going to win.”

Patrick rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “Yeah. Maybe. Tonight’s presentation was the easy bit for me. Next week when we have to design our store displays? I’m going to be right where you are right now. So if we work together, hopefully one of us can win this thing.”

Patrick seemed so confident and put together that David hadn’t considered that he might not feel comfortable with the artistic parts of the challenge. Until tonight had gone so badly, he’d been looking forward to the next part of the contest the most. Maybe Patrick was right, maybe by working together they could make it so that one of them could win. The idea of Ray or Wendy opening a storage container store or the reincarnation of the Blouse Barn in the perfect space he’d selected for his store made him cringe. 

“Okay. I accept your offer.”

Patrick’s eyes were warm and soft as he looked at him. He held out a hand for David to shake. As he grasped Patrick’s hand, he wished he were doing more than just shaking hands. He wanted to pull Patrick close, to kiss the smirk off of his lips, to finally feel what his hair felt like between his fingers. Instead, he stood up, releasing Patrick’s hand.

“Do you want to get started tomorrow at the cafe?”

Patrick nodded. “See you then.”


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick was waiting for him when he got to the cafe the next morning. He had a selection of spreadsheets and other papers spread out in front of him and he was making notes on his laptop.

“Put those away.”

Patrick raised his eyebrows at him. “Good morning to you too.”

“Good morning. Put those away.”

“Are you always this nice first thing in the morning or have you just not had your coffee yet?”

“Since you mention it, yes, it is too early and yes, I would love some coffee.”

“Okay.” Patrick was clearly humoring him, but he managed to get Twyla’s attention. Knowing that coffee was on the way made him feel better, as did sitting in a booth with Patrick. He couldn’t stop smiling foolishly at him as they looked at each other.

“Why am I putting my business plan away? I thought that’s why we were meeting.”

“You need to feel your vision for your store. Those spreadsheets won’t help you. If you want people to buy from your store, they need to see why it’s special. Close your eyes.”

Without asking why, Patrick did as David demanded. David’s breath caught a little. No one else in his life did what he asked without arguing. It felt like Patrick trusted him. Not wanting to think about that feeling too closely, he pulled his thoughts back to why they were here.

“Tell me what your store looks like.”

“It looks a lot like the store across the street.”

“I thought you wanted my help?”

“Sorry.” He could tell by the twitch of his lips that Patrick wasn’t actually sorry, but he let it go.

“What do people see when they come inside? How does it feel? What’s the first thing they notice?”

“It’s...bright...airy. People feel at home. There are shelves, wooden ones, not metal ones, with honey and jam and wine. And those wooden crates filled with vegetables. And near the back, a cooler for cheese and juice.”

As Patrick spoke, he could see the store coming to life. In his mind, he added in the touches that he wanted for his own store, the beautifully displayed bath products, the art above the shelves, the plants in the windows. The ideas meshed together like they were made for each other.

“David?”

“Sorry.” He realized he hadn’t said anything since Patrick had stopped talking, that he’d been caught up in what Patrick was saying. “Okay. Everything you just said? Write that down.”

“Can I open my eyes or do I have to take notes with them closed?”

“If I’d known you were so sassy, I’d never have agreed to help you.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you knew.” Patrick’s eyes were open now and he was looking at David very intently from the other side of the table. Their eyes met and as much as he wanted to, David couldn’t look away. The silence grew and with it, something else, something heavy and soft. He cleared his throat and gestured to Patrick’s laptop.

“Write.”

He got up to get a refill on his coffee from Twyla. Mostly he just wanted to step away from Patrick for a moment, to get his bearings, to adjust to the tentative, hopeful thing that was growing between them.

He returned to the table to find Patrick typing away on his laptop. He pulled out his journal and began to sketch his own ideas for his table at the pop-up shop event. He’d already made arrangements with several local vendors to supply products for next week, he just needed to decide how to display his items for the best results.

Patrick finally stopped typing. “Now what?”

David flipped over one of the spreadsheets that Patrick had brought with him. “Draw a picture of what you want your display to look like.”

Patrick looked at him a bit skeptically, but he bent over the paper and began to draw. The lights of the cafe brought out the waves and highlights in his hair, David wanted to reach out and touch it. 

“Why did you want to do this, anyway?”

Patrick stopped his drawing and looked up at him. “I...I decided I had to leave my home town, so I came here and this opportunity came up and I decided I couldn’t pass it by.”

He thought maybe there was something else that Patrick wasn’t telling him, but he didn’t want to press him.

“What about you?”

“I used to have a gallery. In New York. And since we’ve been here, I’ve wanted something for myself, to prove that I could build something on my own. I want this store. I want to create something different in this town.” It was hard sometimes, to put into words why the store was so important to him. Opportunities to do things on his own had always been few and far between.

“Wait, I almost forgot.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out the key that Ronnie had given him. “Let’s go look at the store.”

“Where did you get that?”

“Everyone’s getting one for setup, remember? I just talked Ronnie into getting mine a bit early.”

He stood up and gestured towards the door. “C’mon.” He led Patrick out of the cafe, telling Twyla on the way out the door that they’d be back for their things in a few minutes.

Inside the store, the light was streaming through the windows just as he remembered, lighting up the hardwood floors and dancing along the white walls. They leaned side by side against the counter, looking over the space. 

“I’d put shelves all along that wall and plants in the windows. Maybe some of those ladder shelves that are popular.” He gestured to each area of the store. He was excited again, he could see the store coming to life in front of them. As he’d been waving his arms around, he’d unconsciously moved closer to Patrick. He could feel Patrick’s shoulder pressed against his, the heat from his arm felt like it was burning through his sweater. He stopped talking and before he could think about it, he put his hand at the back of Patrick’s head and bent to kiss him.

It was a bit of a relief to feel Patrick kiss him back. He hadn’t known...so many things, really. If Patrick was gay. If he liked David the way David liked him. If this competition would get in the way. He pulled away from Patrick, not wanting their first kiss to be too much. He looked Patrick in the eyes, the same warmth he’d seen last night was still there. Patrick bit his lower lip and David reached out to rest his hands gently on Patrick’s hips. 

Patrick grasped his shoulder and for a second, David thought he might push him away. Instead, Patrick pulled him back towards him, kissing him again. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, to feel the softness of Patrick’s lips against his, to explore the mixture of excitement and curiosity and relief that was singing beneath his skin. 

The door of the store slammed open. Startled, they sprang apart to see Roland struggling through the door carrying a folding table. Looking at Patrick, he could see the blush staining his cheeks and neck. It was sweet, seeing Patrick’s self-consciousness. It reminded him of being a teenager, sneaking moments in empty classrooms. It might have been that long since he’d last been disconcerted to be caught kissing someone, but he was struck by the need to protect Patrick from feeling embarrassed. 

“How did you get in here, anyway?” Relief spread through him. If Roland had seen them, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from making a crude remark. He held up the key. 

“Ronnie.”

“Well, since you’re here…”

“We should go.” He interrupted before Roland could suggest that they help. Knowing how helpful Patrick was, they’d be stuck for hours if they didn’t leave right away.

It wasn’t until they had slid back into the booth at the cafe that Patrick said anything. 

“I’ve never done that before, so thank you.” 

David’s body tensed. He was certain Patrick had been into it when he’d kissed him. If they hadn’t been interrupted, he felt sure they’d still be there, kissing in the empty store. While he knew what Patrick was referring to, he couldn’t help make a joke to ease the tension he was feeling.

“You’ve never refused to help someone?”

Patrick looked taken aback by his joke but he laughed nonetheless. “Not that…I’ve never kissed a guy before.” Patrick’s eyes met his and he felt it again, that heavy, soft feeling that had filled the cafe earlier. He reached over and put his hands on Patrick’s wrists, stroking the base of his palms gently with his thumbs. He could feel Patrick’s pulse, a rapid staccato that matched his own.

“And?”

Patrick blushed again. David wondered if there was a way he could get him to do that more often, something he could say or do that would automatically make his cheeks turn that adorable shade of pink. 

“And I’ve wanted to do that for awhile, so I’m glad you finally did.”

He shook his head. No one had ever thanked him for kissing them before. It felt like this was the beginning of something. Before now most of his kisses had seemed like an ending or a means to an end. He squeezed Patrick’s hands gently before letting him go. 

“We should get back to work. We still have a competition to win.”

He managed to focus on his design for his pop-up shop for the rest of the morning. By the time lunchtime rolled around they both had concepts for their displays that would allow them to start setting up in the morning. He didn’t want to leave Patrick, but he had promised his future vendors that he would pick products up from them that afternoon. Reluctantly, he slid out of the booth. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Patrick smiled at him and nodded. He bent to kiss him on the cheek, giving him a quick squeeze on the shoulder before he left. 

As he drove around to the different farms on his list, he kept replaying the morning with Patrick in his mind. Patrick made him feel like he could do anything, made the things that usually seemed hard feel easy. He wanted to feel Patrick’s hands on him, to let him do anything he wanted, to help him explore and discover all the things he’d missed out on. Even more than that, he wanted more days like today, where they spent time together, laughing and talking and working together.

He collected products from all of his suppliers. He’d curated a subset of items that he wanted to offer in his store, ending up with a mixture of beauty products and home decor items. He was confident that he’d be able to create a beautiful display for the pop-up challenge this week. He wondered how Patrick was making out. Working together, they’d refined his idea until he had a plan for the next part of the challenge. 

Eventually, the newness and excitement began to fade and his anxiety began to increase. Why would someone as confident and competent as Patrick be interested in someone like him? Did he even want anything more than a casual kiss from David? He’d been an experiment before, but the idea of Patrick toying with him caused an ache he wasn’t expecting.

He didn’t sleep well that night, his mind bouncing between remembering the kiss with Patrick and worrying that it might not happen again. By the time morning came, he was exhausted and cranky. 

He headed to the store, planning to drop off his things before going to the cafe for some much needed coffee. The store was empty when he arrived, although Patrick had clearly been there before him as a mound of boxes sat beside his table. 

A takeout coffee cup sat in the middle of the table next to Patrick’s with David’s name written on it. He frowned at it and touched the side of the cup. It was still hot. Cautiously, he took a sip. It was the same as the drink he’d ordered at the cafe yesterday with Patrick. Smiling, he put the cup back down on the table and began to carry in the rest of his boxes.

Not long after, Ray and Wendy arrived to set up their tables. There was still no sign of Patrick. Across from them, Ray was unloading a stack of storage totes onto his table. The multi-colored plastic made him shudder. At the table beside him, Wendy was arranging a selection of boldly-printed women’s clothes onto a pair of clothing racks. Clearly she had learned nothing from his attempts to improve the Blouse Barn. 

He leaned against an extra table that had been set up at the back of the store. He stared at the door, willing Patrick to come back from wherever he’d gone so that they could talk about what had happened yesterday. More than that, he simply wanted to see Patrick, hoping he didn’t have any regrets.

Finally, he saw Patrick through the front windows of the store. His heart jumped a little. He might be in this deeper than he’d thought. Before he could process that idea, Patrick came up to him and kissed him quickly on the lips.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

“Mmm. It’s before ten o’clock so I thought you’d probably need it.”

He made a face at Patrick, not wanting him to know how pleased he was over a simple cup of coffee. He wished they could be alone, even if it was just for a minute, so he could kiss Patrick properly and find out if he regretted what had happened between them yesterday. As though he sensed what David was thinking, Patrick slid his hand along the small of David’s back, smiling at him softly. 

He was about to ask Patrick about yesterday when Ronnie came into the store, a clipboard in her hands. 

“We’ve got a fun surprise for all of you. Council has decided to accept a late entrant into the competition. Christmas Town will be competing in the final two rounds. To keep things fair, they’ll be awarded an average of the points from the first two parts of the contest.”

He didn’t think that letting a big box store enter the contest halfway through had anything to do with fairness. From the look on Patrick’s face, he was equally unimpressed. Ronnie wasn’t finished.

“Okay, I’ve also got the results of the second round of voting.” His entire body tensed. He’d managed to push his disastrous business plan presentation to the back of his mind while he concentrated on the pop-up shop and on Patrick. Now, all of his anxiety came rushing back. Seeing his tension, Patrick had moved to stand beside him, pressing their shoulders together.

“In fourth, Ray with 976 total votes.”

“In third, Wendy with 997 votes”

“In second, David with 1122 votes.”

He closed his eyes and let out a breath. Not surprisingly, Patrick had moved into first place. The only question was how far back he had fallen.

“In first place, Patrick with 1324 votes.”

It wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. In the back of his mind, he’d assumed he’d get no votes for his disaster of a business plan. He’d still come in last in that round, but he wasn’t so far back that he couldn’t recover. He looked over at Patrick with a tiny smile. Of course, winning still meant beating Patrick. If he won, then Patrick lost. If he won, then he lost Patrick. No matter who won, he lost.

“Get your displays set up by Saturday morning. Doors open at nine o’clock.” With that, Ronnie tucked the clipboard under her arm and left the store.

He started arranging his products on the table. He’d brought some wooden crates to put things at eye level. He was trying to decide on the flow for his table when Patrick came up beside him. He leaned into him for a second, quickly pressing their bodies together. An electrical current ran up his side from where Patrick was touching him. Patrick pulled away so that he could pick up an item from David’s table.

“These don’t actually explode, do they?”

“It’s a bath bomb.”

“Okay?”

“It’s epsom salts and essential oils. They fizz when you put them in water.”

“So not quite as exciting as advertised, then.”

He rolled his eyes at Patrick. He felt like every conversation ended with Patrick laughing at him. He should have been offended, instead he was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting Patrick to kiss him. He suddenly realized how quiet it was. He looked around, everyone else had left. He and Patrick were alone.

He plucked the bath bomb out of Patrick’s hand and set it back on the table before slipping his fingers into Patrick’s belt loops and pulling him close. Patrick hummed softly, placing his hands on David’s hips. Since he’d kissed him that first time, he’d replayed the moment in his mind, recalling the press of Patrick’s lips, the hint of nervousness and curiosity that had played beneath the surface.

This kiss was different. There was a determination and confidence to Patrick this time as he kissed him. It was bold and eager. Patrick licked at David’s lower lip, demanding more, his hand drifted to David’s neck, pulling him closer. He let Patrick take the lead, wanting him to get whatever he needed, following wherever he wanted to go.

Regretfully, he pulled away slowly. They were both panting slightly, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. 

“I know you’re supposed to be the responsible one, but we really need to finish getting things set up.” He gestured blindly at the tables beside them, unable to take his eyes off of Patrick. Patrick’s hand was still resting at the back of his neck, his fingers were teasing the short hair there, making it impossible to concentrate. 

With a muffled groan, he leaned down to kiss Patrick again, Patrick’s hand tightened as their lips met, holding David’s head still. He relaxed into Patrick’s grip, letting Patrick take what he needed. Patrick’s lips pressed against his, his tongue demanding anything David could give him. After a long moment, a shudder ran through Patrick’s body. He pulled back and tipped his head against David’s.

“God, David.”

“Mmm hmm.” Patrick sounded completely destroyed and if he was honest with himself, he was feeling the same way. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed anyone like that, if he ever had. 

“So...um...set-up…” He waved weakly at the pile of boxes that surrounded them.

“Yeah. Yes.” He could see Patrick was trying to pull himself together. He took a half step back. A bit of physical separation might help them concentrate on the task at hand.

For the most part, they managed to stay focused for the rest of the morning. Occasionally, Patrick would reach out to touch his arm or the small of his back and when he came within David’s reach he couldn’t help but press his lips to Patrick’s cheek or his lips.

By lunchtime, his booth was finally ready to go. His body was still fizzy from kissing Patrick but his anxiety about the outcome of the contest was returning. The sense that he was caught between losing the store or losing Patrick was starting to consume him. The worst of it was that the two things had become completely entwined in his mind. Patrick and the store fit together like they belonged, like they were both part of him. The idea of giving up one or the other was too much to contemplate. He pushed the feeling away when he heard Patrick saying his name.

“David?” Patrick was looking at him, a quizzical look on his face. He must have missed something while his thoughts had been spiraling.

“Sorry?”

“Dinner. I thought we could go for dinner tonight. Just the two of us.”

Patrick’s voice was fond, but he could hear a touch of nerves underneath. He wasn’t the only one who was feeling a little unsure.

“Yes. I’d like that. I’ve gotta go, see you at seven?” He leaned to give Patrick a quick kiss but Patrick wasn’t willing to release him so quickly. The kiss was soft and gentle and for a brief moment he considered spending the rest of the afternoon here, kissing Patrick among the bath products and the cast-offs from the Blouse Barn.

“I’ll see you tonight.” With a final brush of his lips against Patrick’s he left the store and headed to the motel.


	4. Chapter 4

He was trying to decide what to wear for his date with Patrick. The sweater with the heart on it that he’d been wearing earlier that day seemed too on point. In the end, he chose his Neil Barrett lightning bolt sweater with the rationale that Patrick rather made him feel like electricity was running under his skin. He was putting the other sweaters away when his mom came into his room. 

“David. I understand from Veronica that the second enumeration of the votes did not fall in your favor.”

So far, his mom had been noticeably uninterested in the competition to determine the new tenant for the General Store. It wasn’t a surprise that she’d decided to become interested once she’d learned about the fiasco of the presentation of his business plan. He waited to hear what she’d say next, reasonably certain that she wouldn’t be supportive.

“It’s fine.”

“Well, I’m not surprised. Perhaps this is the opportunity you need to reconsider this whole undertaking.”

“Okay, I know that you’re worried about creating anything that might mean we had to stay in this town, but if this store is a success, I can sell it down the road.”

“Oh David, it’s not that. There are some things you should know about your past business endeavours.”

“Like what?”

He couldn’t believe his mom was doing this now, setting him up for failure when he needed to be at his most confident. 

“Your father and I, we always wanted to help you. When you had your gallery, we may have helped you too much.”

“What are you saying?”

“The art you sold? One way or another, we bought it all.”

“What?”

Even as he’d struggled through the business plan portion of the competition, he’d pinned his confidence in his ability to open this store on his past experience. Knowing that he’d run businesses before, that he could sell things that people wanted to buy had helped him move past his failure from a couple of days ago. 

His anxieties from this morning about having choose between Patrick and his dream for the store returned in full force. Maybe there was a third option, maybe he’d be left without either the store or Patrick, with just a glimpse of two things that he could have had. A brief look into a future that could never exist.

He paced around the motel room, arms crossed and his thoughts spiralling. It was almost time to leave and he’d convinced himself that Patrick had only asked him to dinner out of pity because he’d done so badly in the voting. There was no other reason that Patrick would be interested in someone as damaged as himself. He was just about to call Patrick and cancel when Alexis came in.

“Aren’t you going on a date? You look all wilted like the celery they have at the cafe.”

“I’m not going.”

“Why not? Patrick is totally in to you.”

“Is he?”

“Yes David. How much time have the two of you spent together working on your plans for this contest? How much has he helped you?”

Patrick had helped him quite a bit. He had helped Patrick as well, but Patrick was the one who helped him first and who suggested they work together. 

“If you like him, isn’t it worth taking a risk for once?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. What if this stupid contest means I end up losing him anyway?”

“Patrick doesn’t seem like someone who would hold something like that against you.”

That might be true. He wasn’t sure if he could stop from holding it against Patrick if it went the other way. Either way, it felt like a minefield, a minefield that separated him from the one person he wanted to be with.

He got to the cafe to find Patrick sitting in one of the booths. Some of his tension eased as Patrick’s eyes met his and he smiled hello. Patrick’s eyes lingered on David’s mouth for a moment and he reached across the table to take David’s hand. Patrick wove their fingers together and the touch of Patrick’s hand brought everything into focus. He wanted this. He was scared of this.

This was worse, he realized. Having Patrick take pity on him would have been bad enough, but the idea that there could be something between them, something more than a physical attraction, made him want to pull his hand away, made him wish he’d never come here. He was clutching at Patrick’s hand and he forced himself to relax. Patrick squeezed his fingers and it grounded him for a minute. 

“Should we have an appetizer? Mozzarella sticks? Deep fried pickles? Deep fried calamari?”

“Is everything here deep fried?”

“Yesterday I watched you eat an entire platter of onion rings by yourself, so I feel like that’s not an issue for you.”

He wanted to be annoyed, but something about the gentle way Patrick teased him made him feel fond and happy instead. He let go of Patrick’s hand so that he could play with his fingers. He didn’t know how Patrick did it, how he seemed so confident, as though everything was easy.

“How...how do you know that you could make your store a success?”

“I have a good business plan.” Patrick was teasing him a little, but David thought he was serious as well.

“I know, but lots of businesses fail, even when they have good business plans.”

“What brought this on?”

He shook his head and looked away, tangling his fingers back with Patrick’s. “It’s nothing, forget it.” He didn’t want to expose his history and his family and his insecurities to Patrick any more than he already had. “It’s just that the closer we get to the end of the contest, the more real it seems and the more I want it.” 

“I know.” Patrick smiled at him softly. David started to relax, the earlier conversation with his mother starting to fade from his mind, his worries about the competition receding as he looked into Patrick’s warm, brown eyes.

Then, without warning, Patrick ruined it. 

“Whatever happens, with the contest, I mean, I want...I want to see where this goes in the future. With us.”

David felt like his world had stopped. All of his anxieties returned, about Patrick, about the store, about his ability to do anything on his own, but now they were mixed with Patrick’s suggestion that they think about a future together. To have Patrick say those words, to show that he was thinking beyond tomorrow was unbearable. The future was the place where people saw his flaws, where things ended, where people left him or cheated, or simply stopped calling. It didn’t matter how nice the evening had been or how much he liked Patrick, talking about the future was a meaningless, pointless exercise that only ended in pain. 

He jerked his hand away from Patrick’s. “I can’t do this.”

“David?”

He watched the words crash into Patrick. He looked like David had broken something inside him. He couldn’t look at him again, having to see that look in his eyes would end him, right here in the middle of the cafe. Without another word, he turned and fled.


	5. Chapter 5

He hadn’t seen Patrick since he’d walked out on their date two days ago. And now, he had to spend the day in the same room as him, answering questions about moisturizer and under eye serum. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t had worse experiences, like the time he’d had to host an opening at his gallery for the artist who had showed up with the guy he’d cheated on him with. Still, this felt worse than that, as though Patrick meant more than those other people. And he knew that this time it was his fault. 

He got to the store just before nine. He had enough time to pull the cover off of his display and straighten a few items before Ronnie was opening the doors. He glanced at Patrick, but he was deliberately looking away, his lips pressed together. Patrick’s table looked good, he’d taken the ideas that David had helped him with and refined them. David could see the vision that he wanted for his store in the display of vegetables and other farm products. Looking at it made him regret that he’d screwed things up between them even more.

The first hour was busy, with many of the townspeople stopping in to support their favorites in the contest. David thought that his and Patrick’s tables were the busiest, although there seemed to be a steady stream of people that he didn’t recognize at the Christmas Town table. 

He looked at the container where he was keeping the tokens that people gave him with each purchase. Instead of voting, for this round the tokens would track how much support each competitor was getting. His container was about a quarter full, a good sign this early in the morning.

By mid-morning, the initial rush was over and he had a moment to catch his breath. He was tired from getting up so early and from being on his feet for the past couple of hours. He wished that he could pop over to the cafe for a coffee, but there was no one to watch his table and he couldn’t very well ask Patrick to keep an eye on things. 

“David Rose? I thought that was you?”

He looked over to see the tall blond man who had been manning the Christmas Town table coming towards him.

“Josh?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Patrick stiffen.

“It’s been awhile.” Before he could duck out of the way Josh leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

“Mmm hmm. That art opening in New York a few years ago, I think?”

He and Josh had been together for about a week before David had come home one night to discover Josh fucking one of the artists from his gallery in his bed. The gallery opening the next day had been awkward to say the least. 

“Why are you here?”

“I’m in charge of market expansion for Christmas Town, so they sent me to be part of this. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting, however.”

Another stream of people came into the store, pulling his attention back to his table. On the other side, he could see Patrick watching them intently, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Hey, maybe we could go for drinks after?” Josh still had his hand on David’s arm. He wanted to shake it off, but he felt like he was trapped between Josh’s obvious desire and the wave of longing and confusion he could feel from Patrick.

“Yeah, okay.” It was the last thing he wanted, but it was too late to say no. He looked over to see Patrick watching them, the look on his face made David feel like someone had cut him with a knife. He looked away, straightening the items on his table and answering questions from a new rush of customers.

The rest of the day was torture. He could feel Patrick beside him, a constant presence that pulled his attention like a magnet. Every time he looked over, Patrick would look away, bringing a stab of pain that he’d never felt before. As if that wasn’t enough, he had to stand and smile and answer the same questions over and over from an unrelenting sea of people. 

When the day finally drew to a close, he was tired and unhappy and generally ready to go back to the motel and fall into his bed. He wished he hadn’t agreed to go for drinks with Josh. Josh hadn’t been that interesting when they’d had things in common and he hated himself for automatically stepping towards an old, toxic relationship. Most of all, he hated that Josh wasn’t Patrick. 

He looked over to where Patrick was packing away some of the things from his table. He wanted to wrap his arms around him, to apologize, to ask for another chance but he didn’t know how to do any of those things. Instead, he half smiled, half grimaced at Josh when he came up to him and headed across the street to the cafe, ignoring the feeling that he was leaving behind the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

At the cafe he sipped the glass of wine that Josh had insisted on buying and listened to him tell a story about someone they both had known that he now couldn’t remember. 

“...and then it slammed right into the side of his dad’s yacht!”

“Mmm hmm.”

He let his mind wander back along the well worn tracks he’d built over the past few days, back to Patrick. Maybe once this stupid competition was over, they could try again. Maybe next time he wouldn’t be so scared if they went for dinner, if Patrick let him hold his hand, if he could kiss him again. 

He’d enjoyed working together with Patrick, first on his business plan and then on pop-up shop. It was as though Patrick filled in all the gaps he was missing, papering them over with spreadsheets and financial projections, making the things that were usually hard, easy. They could have done this together, he realized. Had they met in a different way or a few days earlier or if he hadn’t fucked things up, they could have done this together. Built a beautiful store with handmade soap and farm grown vegetables that had the perfect aesthetic and a solid business plan.

Instead he was sitting in the cafe with Josh, drinking a glass of bad white wine and listening to yet another story about a drug filled party on someone’s father’s yacht. That could have been me, he thought. For the first time, he was glad to have escaped the life he’d had before. His relief was countered by the increasing revulsion he felt for Josh. 

“I’ve got a room at the motel, you know, if you’re not doing anything tonight.” Josh reached over and put his hand on David’s leg, running his fingers along the seam of his jeans, making his body tense. Once, he would have gone without a second thought. As best as he could recall, having sex with Josh had been pretty good, but all he wanted right now was Patrick. As though he’d conjured him with his thoughts, the door opened and Patrick came into the cafe. His jaw clenched when he saw Josh’s hand on David’s leg before he sat at one of the booths behind them. 

“This has been fun, but I don’t think so.”

“Oh come on, David. I’ve never known you to play hard to get.” Josh’s hand had wandered even higher on his leg and David’s skin began to crawl. This had been a terribly bad idea.

“Thanks for the drink, but not tonight.” He could tell that Josh wasn’t going to let up. He was trying to figure out an exit strategy that wouldn’t make him ashamed to show his face in the cafe in the morning, when he heard a voice behind him.

“You need to leave.” Patrick was staring intently at Josh as he motioned to the door. “He doesn’t want you here and I’m tired of listening to you.”

Josh looked at Patrick, his eyes shifting between him and David for a moment. He’d never been one for confrontation, David remembered, so he wasn’t surprised when Josh slid off of the stool and headed for the door.

“Whatever.”

David’s eyes met Patrick’s, there was something burning deep inside them. It was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. After a long moment, terrifying won. 

“I have to go.” He stood up and headed for the door, he could feel Patrick’s eyes on his back all the way out of the cafe.


	6. Chapter 6

He was trying to refine his sales pitch for the final part of the challenge when he heard Alexis call from the bathroom. The door was open and she was finishing her makeup.

“David, did you know that mom invited Josh here?”

“What do you mean _invited_ him here?” He wasn’t entirely surprised that his mom was responsible for bringing Josh here. From the beginning she’d been trying her best to make this as hard as possible for him. She was so convinced he was going to fail that she was going out of her way to make sure it happened.

“I ran into him yesterday and he said mom insisted he come here. And then he tried to pay me to buy tacky Christmas stuff from him.”

“What?”

“I know. It’s like July. Who wants to buy Christmas decorations?” Alexis came out of the bathroom and sat on her bed across from him, reaching for her nail file.

“You have to tell Roland.”

“I don’t think he’ll care, David. You’ve seen their house.”

“Not about the Christmas decorations. About Josh bribing you to be one of his customers!”

“Ew David, I don’t want to talk to Roland.” He couldn’t disagree, he didn’t want to talk to Roland either. 

“Talk to Ronnie, then. Because if Christmas Town is cheating, it could be the end of my store.”

The idea of losing the competition and not ending up with either the store or Patrick was almost unbearable. He thought about going back to bed, but in the end, he headed to the motel office to find Stevie. As usual, she was sitting behind the desk, reading her book. 

“It turns out they’re cheating!” He threw himself onto the couch and crossed his arms. Stevie put down her book and came to sit beside him.

“Who’s cheating?”

“Christmas Town! Why couldn’t they stay out of this and let Patrick and I win this stupid contest and open our store?”

“I’m sorry. Our store?”

Too late, he realized what he’d said. In his head, the store belonged to both him and Patrick. He could see them there together, laughing in front of the large windows, the sunlight glinting off of Patrick’s hair. He tried to cover but Stevie knew him too well.

“If I can’t win, then he should. Not that it matters now.”

“So are you upset because Christmas Town is cheating or are you upset because you got scared about how you felt about Patrick and you panicked?”

“I didn’t panic.”

“Did you or did you not walk out in the middle of your date because he talked about maybe having a future together?”

He pressed his lips together and glared at her. He hated how Stevie could puncture the anxiety that he’d built up in his mind with just a few words.

“If you’re this wound up about it, don’t you owe it to yourself to see if there’s anything between you?

He scowled at her, mouth twisting. He ached to see Patrick again, to make him laugh, to kiss him. He remembered the look on his face as David had walked out on their date, how wrecked he had looked.

“I’m not saying you have to marry him. Just maybe try to get to the end of a date?”

“Fine. If he’ll actually talk to me, I’ll try to finish a date with him.”

“I mean, I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want to go on another date with you. I’m sure you’ve been very charming over the past few days.”

“Okay. You’re not helping.”

“Did you want my help?” Stevie was giving him a look that meant that she knew he hadn’t wanted to hear any of what she had to say. He knew she was right, he owed it to Patrick and himself to try again, to see if there was anything between them.

“No, I think I’m good, thanks.”

He didn’t think he could rely on Roland or Ronnie to do the right thing when it came to Christmas Town, so he spent the next few days perfecting his sales pitch for the store. He needed to see Patrick again. The longing of it burned inside him, a flame that flickered between hope and anxiety. He thought about the store, how much better it could be with Patrick’s help. In his mind, the store and Patrick were inherently linked, he couldn’t imagine one without the other. 

He looked for Patrick everywhere, every time he caught sight of a blue shirt out of the corner of his eye it made him flinch. He even spent his afternoons at the cafe, hoping Patrick would find him there, but there was no sign of him. It was as though he had vanished into thin air. 

Once again, he was back in the uncomfortable yellow chairs in Town Hall, waiting for the final part of the challenge to get underway. The chair beside his was empty. Where was Patrick? If he didn’t arrive soon, he wouldn’t be allowed to do his sales pitch. He looked around the room, thinking that Patrick hadn’t wanted to be near him so he’d chosen to sit somewhere else, but there was no sign of him. 

He’d hoped against hope that they would have a chance to talk, that maybe they could start to repair what he had broken between them. The empty chair seemed like a rebuke, a reminder of what had happened and what could have been. 

At the front of the room, Roland was finally getting things underway. 

“An announcement before we get to the results of the third round and tonight’s presentations. Patrick Brewer has withdrawn from the competition.”

David froze. Where was Patrick? Was he never going to have a chance to talk to him, to tell him how he really felt? Anxious, he searched the room behind him, stopping to look at every person who was wearing blue, but none of them were Patrick. Unhappily, he tore his gaze back to the front of the room where Roland was announcing the latest results.

“For our remaining competitors the vote totals are: in fourth place, Ray Butani with 1364 votes.”

“In third place, Wendy Kurtz with 1410 votes.”

In second place, David Rose with 1741 votes.”

“And our new leader, in first place, Christmas Town with 1838 votes.”

He couldn’t believe that they had allowed Christmas Town to continue after they had been caught cheating. Or maybe Alexis hadn’t talked to Ronnie after all. The possibility of losing to Patrick was awful enough, but losing to a big box store who used their money to swindle their way through this competition was unfair. His worst fears could become real tonight, he could lose both Patrick and his store on the same evening. 

Roland pointed to Josh. “You’re up.”

Josh sauntered to the front of the room, smirking at David as he passed him. David scowled in response, his anxiety increasing. What if he lost to Christmas Town? Not only would he not be able to open his store, he’d be visually asaulted by tacky Christmas decorations on a daily basis. If his luck turned out the way it usually did, he’d probably have to see Josh every day as well. And where was Patrick? His shoulders slumped at the thought that he might never see him again. His thoughts started to ping pong back and forth: Josh, Patrick, Josh, Patrick, Josh, Patrick.

Josh was playing ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ as the background music for his presentation. Normally David loved anything by Mariah Carey but the music was starting to grate on his nerves. This song might always remind him of this moment, he might never be able to listen to it again.

Josh wrapped up his presentation by declaring a ‘Merry Christmas to All’ and tossing handfuls of fake snow at the audience. David’s scowl grew even deeper as Roland turned the floor over to Ray.

As Ray went to the front of the room, all David could think about was Patrick. Why had he withdrawn? Had David hurt him so badly that he’d left town? He had to focus. As long as he didn’t mess things up with his presentation tonight, he might be able to win this. He might not have Patrick in his life, but at least he’d be able to start his store. The possible victory felt hollow and empty.

Ray’s sales pitch essentially boiled down to ‘everybody has too much stuff’ a philosophy David definitely did not agree with. Wendy was up next, he tuned her out, feeling that he already knew too much about Blouse Barn or Blouse House or whatever she ended up calling it. He wondered where Patrick was, if he’d left town. He wanted to believe that even if he planned to leave that Patrick would stay long enough to find out the results of the contest, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t here. Surely, if he’d wanted to know, he would be here. Then, Roland was announcing his name.

As he turned to face the room, he could see people lean forward, eager to hear his pitch. He began to make the case for his store, how it would support local businesses, how it would sell products that couldn’t be found anywhere else. He was halfway through when the door at the back of the room opened and Patrick slipped inside. He was wearing a dark blue sweater and he folded his arms and leaned against the back wall. He smiled at David, a wistful, regretful smile, but a smile nonetheless. David smiled back and finished his pitch.

He went back to his seat, expecting Roland to finish with his usual instructions for voting. Instead, at the front of the room, Roland and Ronnie were having a whispered conversation. Ronnie crossed her arms and glared at Roland. He glared back, his hands on his hips before throwing his hands in the air.

“Before we finish up, we have one more announcement. We have determined that Christmas Town was paying their customers to participate in this weekend’s pop-up shop competition so they have been eliminated from the contest. I don’t need to tell the rest of you that this kind of thing won’t be tolerated.”

A wave of relief coursed through him. He could actually win this. He wouldn’t find out the results until next week, but with Christmas Town finally getting what was coming to them, he was feeling confident. Impatiently, he listened to Roland wrap up the evening with instructions about voting. He couldn’t stop fidgeting, he wanted to get to the back of the room to talk to Patrick. When Roland finally brought things to an end, he stood up and looked around.

Patrick was gone.

His heart in his throat, he pushed past the crowd of people. He couldn’t let Patrick leave, couldn’t think about what might happen if he didn’t get to talk to him. He made his way to the door and stepped out onto the front step.

Patrick was sitting on the bench beside the steps. He walked over to sit beside him, close enough that he could smell the citrusy scent of Patrick’s shampoo, but not so close that they were touching.

“You didn’t have to do that. Withdraw from the competition. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Patrick tipped his head back to look at the stars. His eyes were brighter than they should have been. “You want this so badly. You should have a chance to build your dream, to prove yourself without me getting in the way. Besides, one of us needs to beat Christmas Town.”

“Patrick…you’re not in the way. You’ve never been in the way.”

“I should go.” Patrick stood up to leave.

“Wait.” He couldn’t let Patrick slip away. He couldn’t imagine this town, his store, the next day, without him. He could see the tension in Patrick’s back as he stopped in front of him, waiting to hear what David would say next. “I’m going to need some help. You’ve seen my business plan. We could go into business together?” He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn’t care, the idea of running the store without Patrick felt flat and meaningless. Patrick turned to face him.

“David, I...I can’t be just your business partner. I need...I need to know what you want.”

“You.” His voice wasn’t working properly and the word was so soft he could barely hear it. He tried again. “I want you.”

He didn’t remember standing up, but suddenly, Patrick was in his arms, pressed against him, arms locked around his back. David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck, burying his face in his shoulder. They clung together for a moment until he couldn’t help himself any longer and he was kissing Patrick, his hand holding the back of his head, their lips brushing together, softly at first and then more deeply, more urgently. 

Patrick was leaning up into him, pressing his entire body against David’s, as though any separation between them would rip them apart. His lips left David’s to seek along David’s jaw before gently kissing the spot below his ear. The simple tenderness of it made his breath catch, it was gentle and exuberant and contented, Patrick’s joy echoing through him. He’d never kissed anyone and had it feel like this.

He wanted to kiss Patrick forever, but he needed to say something. He tipped his forehead against Patrick’s, trying to form the words.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have panicked. I shouldn’t have run away.”

Patrick shook his head and kissed him again. David kissed him back, he knew he’d never get enough of Patrick, how serious he looked before he kissed him, the way his eyes flicked to David’s lips just before they kissed. 

“I meant it. What I said. If you want to, I could use your help with the store. You know how to do all those things that I don’t, like cash flow projections and inventory and we can sell jam and vegetables if you want to, I don’t mind.”

“It’s good to know that you’re not anti-vegetables.”

“We can sell anything you want to, except offensive things like plungers or toilet brushes, but anything else.”

Patrick laughed at him. “Why do I think that the list of offensive items might be longer than you’re saying?”

He shrugged, a smile twisting his mouth. “I am the one with the artistic vision.”

“Oh. I’ll be sure to write that into the business plan, then. A twenty percent contingency for artistic visions.”

“I love it when you talk about business things.” He kissed Patrick again, bumping their noses together gently. Why had he ever thought this would be hard when Patrick had always made everything so easy?

***

The store was packed with people. From across the room, he glanced over to where Patrick was working behind the counter, helping the customers who were waiting to pay for their purchases. He caught Patrick’s eye and they both smiled and the moment stretched between them, jubilant and soft. 

The aesthetic of the store was exactly as he’d imagined. The sunlight streamed through the windows, warming the dark brown wood of the tables and cabinets and making the white walls glow. The contest had generated more attention than he could have imagined and the store had been packed with people from the moment they opened the doors. If the line in front of the cash register was any indication, things were off to a very successful start. 

When he locked the door behind the last customer, he turned to Patrick. His boyfriend and business partner was leaning against the front counter, head tilted as David came to stand in front of him. He couldn’t have done it without Patrick, without the spreadsheets and inventory lists that were tucked away in folders in the back room, part of the business plan that Patrick had written in the days after the competition had ended. 

After Patrick had withdrawn and Christmas Town had been eliminated, the outcome of the competition had been a foregone conclusion. Nonetheless, it had been a relief to hear Roland announce that he was the winner of the contest and that the space was officially his. Or, as it had turned out when they signed the lease together, his and Patrick’s.

Patrick settled his hands on his hips, pulling David towards him. It seemed natural to drape his arms atop Patrick’s shoulders, fitting them together as though they had decades of moments of experience standing like this instead of just a couple of months. Until Patrick, he’d never known that a relationship could feel this comfortable. Every time they touched, every time their eyes met, it was like coming home, as though every part of him was exactly where it was supposed to be.

“Regrets?” It was a question he asked all the time, when he was unsure about their relationship, when the tote bags were the wrong color, when he slept in and Patrick had to organize their new inventory by himself.

The first time he’d asked he’d been worried that he might be too much, sure that the day would come when Patrick would want something less complicated, less damaged, less intense. Slowly, he had come to realize that the things about himself that other people had flung back in his face were things that Patrick, for reasons that were incomprehensible to him, found amusing, even attractive. Over time, the question had changed from an expression of anxiety to their own private joke. 

“Why would I have regrets? We just had the best opening we could have hoped for.” Patrick leaned up to kiss him, playful as he nudged their noses together. “Plus I have you.”

“In the past, that last bit has been where the regrets have come from.” 

“David. If I didn’t have you, we wouldn’t have this store and we wouldn’t have made a lot of money today.”

“It’s always good to be in second place to the store.”

Patrick grinned as he tugged David a half step closer, sliding his hands around David’s back. 

“It did bring us together, so it will always be first in my heart.”

“In that case, you’ll always have second place in my heart too.” When he’d stood in this exact spot and kissed Patrick for the first time, he’d wanted to kiss him forever. As his lips touched Patrick’s he thought he might just have a chance to make that happen. In any case, he was going to try.


End file.
